Entomologist talking to someone he loves: “You’re like a bug to me”

I get all my medicines from a 19 year old boy on Tiktok named Geoffrey Pharmacy

I’m sick of having to do a little jig or a cool knife trick every time I buy vegetables. We need to go back to currency

Almost ruins the film...

Frowning at a photo of my friend standing next to 14 refrigerators and saying 'Which one are you'

There is no Groupon for the things we owe to each other.

(seeing a bunch of people on an escalator) Wow, Koyaanisqatsi much??

Power starts flickering throughout my city as I run a program I wrote to compute my wife's enneagram compatibility

Seeing Tár again tonight... will be interesting to watch it knowing right off the bat that Tár is real

How do I watch the sadness triangle

Give him a second chance

Say what you will about Bret Easton Ellis but it's a pretty major achievement to make it impossible to listen to 'Invisible Touch' without thinking about a psychopathic killer

Blimey. I didn't realise Pakistan vs Zimbabwe was a grudge match and for good reason

People get really weird when you touch one of their plants and it dies instantly