If it ain’t like this I don’t want it

I am so excited for college football to be back, I cannot even begin to explain it

Had a dream that I was stuck in a traffic jam, but my car was light enough to carry, so I picked it up and walked past everyone.

Beautiful day fer it. Or it was for the first few hours lol

Me, sitting in the 8th pew: I’m an 8th pew kinda guy.

I know I’m insufferable bc I’ve said “oh, Hannibal Buress has a bit about this…” on more than one occasion

when the rumble strips harmonize w my music 😌😌

Me, sitting in the 12th pew with Jules: I’m a 12th pew with Jules kinda guy.

Bro this guy LOVES ants!!

Overheard at the office: "As per my last email, go pound sand"

If you ever name a bridge in my memory, do not let it be a slab and girder. I am more extravagant than that!

Iowa’s offense is firmly back to where it was, like it never left

Almost made it to bed on time but then I got distracted and ended up looking at Iowa City on Google Maps for two hours haha who else

might shower with my socks on just to feel something

People be like “hard pass” and I’m like “it was pretty easy for me actually”