If you want my funny, you have to accept my asshole. Wait…that came out wrong…

shade coming from a tree bearing absolutely no fruit will never bother me

i appreciate my dude friends on here because it’s always like yeah support bro and not show me your dick or i’ll kill you like it is with the ladies

humility might not be my strong suit

when a group of grown men tries to troll me and all their pages are full of anime and sexist, racist, hateful bullshit i’m just blocking. its not worth the effort to argue with people who don’t understand the first thing about fuck all.

Hey guys, I have a personal request. Can you follow & share a 2nd acct of mine Seasons Pop-Up Shop & if possible the same @ on IG? It’s a small biz I’m launching in a few weeks. Details about it can be found in the pinned tweet of Seasons Pop-Up Shop thank you! I appreciate any help ❤️

we aren’t “afraid” of talking about our feelings. we just fucking hate it and here’s why. it’s super boring and usually ends with us not getting our dick sucked. ladies, i hope this helps. -j. jasonson

Ok, Threads is weird af it’s like dollar tree X

Women may hit curbs, but men always choose THE most nonsensical way out of a parking lot

i really admire my “idk how imma do it but imma get it done” ability

yes, i’m crazy…i can provide references

If you’re gonna half-ass something, what’s even the point? Full-ass or no ass at all.. wait what

you rang?

no YOU hang up! #tattootherapy

This tweet isn’t about you.

I am going to call you Mr. McGrumpypants, you’re adorable

Whatever. I'd date me

My Onlyfans is just me schlepping my delicious raw honey for $20 a pound. You can buy it here: venmo.com/u/sab-honeybee (Put your mailing address in the comment line.)