Don't go to New York tomorrow

Me choking on my own saliva for no reason

please let us get our bag

Ima be mia doin Friday the 13th today. Hehehe

girl math is putting your phone on dnd and still checking if someone disturbed you

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I have been saying some funny dumb shit today and I forgot and now I can’t share it :(

Me when my bank account gets hacked:

Yeah, how’s you know I listen to the devil wears prada???

Omerta - “Baby, You Wouldn't Last a Minute on the Creek” Chiodos / Craig Owens / Equal Vision Records

Having autism in the 1800s would be so ass. You had to do shit like organize lamp oil instead of watch sonic videos on YouTube

Me when I cream pie

Pooping is the worst thing a body can do to you

Everyone knew who you were

I haven’t given myself enough credit where credit is due for so many years. I actually want to explode. I need to be so much kinder and accepting of myself

Call me Boston the way I’m creaming that pie

Do yourself a favor. Never get your gal bladder removed. Deal with the comparable to birth and a heart attack pain of gal stones instead.

Someone said Nashville is white people New Orleans and that shit has me crying