Fuck a zodiac sign. Tell me your favorite Ninja Turtle

Took a sexy selfie in my new bra whatcha think

qt a photo of you without your (full) face this was right after i kicked Rocky's ass in a footrace on the beach

Boy, are you Haitian? Cause I hear you like eating pussy 😏

EVERYONE TELLS ME SANTA'S NOT REAL, BUT THOSE COOKIES ARE ALWAYS GONE WHEN I WAKE UP ON CHRISTMAS

btw i was the drummer for Concept of a Plan. we were terrible

works every time

Everything is so stupid now that it cured my FOMO

50 days until Hall🎃ween

I hate when I trip and fall and accidentally eat a whole rack of ribs

Yes, babe, most people consider compression socks as lingerie.

Welcome to Twitter, someone will be letting you know exactly what's wrong with you very soon.

my hubs said i should cut down on my coffee intake and then we laughed and laughed and laughed and now he’s missing. weird.

The banana I had just now for breakfast was really curved. Anyways, thought of you.

Have a blah day motherfucker.

Why is it I can be having a perfectly nice, fine, normal conversation with a guy on here then all the sudden BAM... I'm talking to their penis?

i'm an island girl i hate the cold and we just jumped right from high summer to winter happiest of Friyays y'all 💜

once i get a free floating clavicle like a cat you bitches have had it