This is a sub tweet

My retirement plan is to die in a sub implosion

Did they ever find those guys in that sub or nah

This is the reaction of a blind dog when discovering a puddle of mud

he has thumbs

Best friends forever

The Office

⚠️ HEARTBREAKING 💔 THIS POOR DOG IS SO SCARED SHE COMPLETELY SHUT DOWN AT MESQUITE ANIMAL SHELTER IN #TEXAS‼️ 🎯#RESCUE NEEDED She weights 34.6lbs & came in yesterday 9.17 as a stray. Urgent for 9.20💉☠️ 🆔 #A56893231 📧[email protected] #PledgeForRescue #Foster 🙏🏼

#SaveChamp Let's be blunt 10yrs old, heartbroken & alone Developed CIRDC, in medical ISO We can not let him get pneumonia @ NYCACC Champ needs a #Foster Give him TLC, soft food & treats Love on him & spoil him Will you help? #Pledges4Rescue Let's get him home & safe

I could really use a pumpkin pie right about now

Welp, that settles it. Baby oil makes you gay.

Captain Crunch, Oops! All Billionaires!

What I don’t understand is why P. Diddy isn’t being charged with infanticide for juicing all of those babies?

He was Jack LaLanneing those babies😭

There are no rewards without war.

The Titan sub imploded with the force of 300 9/11s

thinking of getting a few abortions next week, anyone have any recommendations?

Flying too close to the sun would fix me

They used to call me four ounces of handsome in a two ton sack.