Happy Memorial Day!!!

Happy Monday!

In Hell, every day after lunch, you are forced to listen to cinematographers talk about the films of Sergio Leone.

Someone should start a TikTok account where they lip sync other people.

I would say the greatest example of my growth as a person this past year is when a douchey guy is telling me about all the benefits of cold plunges, I can now just nod my head and say, "that's awesome, I'm happy for you."

Does anyone know how many days there are before we make the yuletide gay again?

Is it just me or is September flying by?

Thank God we have another three-day weekend!

Just saw someone who wasn't staying hydrated, so I kicked them!

The only thing Pumpkin Spice in Los Angeles right now is my ass sweat!

Is it just me or does it feel extra hot in Los Angeles these last few days?

Today is 9/6/2024, or as mathematicians call it, "Halves Day," due to the following: 9 ÷ 2 = 4.5 6 ÷ 2 = 3 2024 ÷ 2 = 1012 4.5 + 3 + 1012 = 1019.5 1019.5 is exactly "one-half" of 2039. This won't happen for another 600 years! #HappyHalvesDay #ILoveMath #Mathematics

You ever notice how when it gets hotter outside you sweat more?

For those who aren't in Los Angeles right now, my outdoor thermometer is almost at 300 degrees! #HeatWave

The kid's still got it!

I wish I could live my entire life as intentionally as I do when I am brushing my teeth before heading to the dentist.

When are we celebrating International Women again? That's always a fun day!

Just brushed my teeth while taking a pee. Is it now time to write a book about morning routine life hacks to improve efficiency?

They keep saying inflation is coming down, and yet I still see balloons in the air!

My neighbor's house is having work done on the roof and let's just say, the look of some of these workers are making me keep my cats inside today!!