not making any friends on the internet today 😔

in case u missed it... we made a feature film and it's premiering at Tribeca next week :) 🎞️ 🎟️ tix here: tribecafilm.com/films/boys-go-…

found guilty on all Draculas

just found out "hurt people hurt people". I blocked my grandma's number she has a broken ankle

My Girlfriend is so kind; she just took out a $100,000 life insurance policy on me. Now I just need to find out who is leaving human-sized Mouse Traps around my apartment and my life will be totally freaking awesome

only 2 of these exist in the universe and I own one

Last night was a movie, Specifically the movie Boys go to Jupiter(glander 2024)

Don't ask "what are you doing with your hands?" ... I was holding a Messenger Bag but Getty Images photoshopped it out.

moms are like: You should just email Paul Thomas Anderson

Glen Powell is the most Congressman-sounding name

Rather than invest in high speed rail, we should just paint amtrak cars with motion blur so they look fast

President Biden keeps saying "guess what" but does not give the journalists a chance to guess. This is concerning

Roasting a guy from a distance. “You’re looking small as hell”

ICE COLD FACT 💎 Your REAL people are the ones that Stand Up for you when you are NOT in the room….

This is WRONG. You're supposed to make yourself look bigger to scare it off

whenever i leave the house I put Tosh.0 on for my dog so she stays dumber than me

wait wait wait wiat wait wait wait wait they named a state after the 99 cent Iced Tea ?

my dad wore these shorts when he ran high school cross country in 1981

Watch an exclusive teaser for Boys Go to Jupiter, the new surreal animated coming-of-age story from animator Julian Glander. 🍊 The voice cast features Demi Adejuyigbe, Elsie Fisher, Tavi Gevinson, Jack Corbett, Julio Torres, Max Wittert, River L. Ramirez, Grace Kuhlenschmidt,