If you’re friends or family and I’ve ever read your chart for free you better watch how you talk to me, for real. Get slick and I’ll just be like yeah and that’s why your broke ass ain’t never gonna have any money, heaux.

Has anyone rectified Chazz Palminteri’s birth chart?

Remember kids, when your 10th house ruler is squaring Pluto and Mars resist the urge to bully your boss. Don't say things like, "Let me just cuss you tf out so I can go home."

I showed my husband how much Austin Coppock and Mike Patton look alike and he is having an overreaction. This may be what pushes him over the edge into astrology.

Sometimes I wonder if Christopher Walken knows how we love him and what a treasure he is.

Last Monday Mars squared my 10th house ruler. Mercury was already retrograde. I just discovered THREE fraudulent charges on my business credit card from that day. I was hit with the combo.

I’m gonna tell my kids this was Mike Patton and Maynard James Keenan

Drew Barrymore has Saturn transiting her Sun and I just heard Patrick Watson call it the “Scab Transit”😭😭😭 Patrick, Patrick please. 💀

Buying new fire extinguishers and smoke detectors because you’re gonna be in a Mars ruled profection next year and Mars will station Rx conj your IC within 5° of your natal Mars.

The Sun, Moon and Mars in Capricorn is really about the perfect poached egg. You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.

Putting on jeans after lotioning is a special sensory hell.