[New Article] Congenital and Parent-of-Origin Prediction Factors and Risks of Baby Jazziness in Americana Live Births If this one seems really specific, I wrote this as a graduation present for my brother who just finished his OB-GYN residency, Congratz Joe!

A brief expedition in perfume chemistry, with added radium so you can smell it in the dark.

Novel Undergraduate Grading Strategies: Lab-Coat Stainometry

Geographic Variability in Lemonade Colouration and Turbidity

Strongest Ever Chemical Bond Observed Between Borosilicate Glass and Organic Tar. This article contains strong language, for good fucking reason. PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/upl…

How I published 100 satirical papers during my 3.5 year PhD: - All the data was fabricated in MS Paint - 40 or them were written by other people - I procrastinate incredibly hard - I bullshit even harder And I’ve just had an idea for the next paper, on circle-jerk geometries...

We designed an entire molecular computer, and yes, it does run Doom.

Something a bit different this time: a short story about science and AI in the 23rd century.

Applications of Lemons in Organic Synthesis Including septa, sample holders, base neutralisers and 0.1% palladium-on-lemon. PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/upl…

Caphetamine: the ultimate study drug. PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/upl…

A radical new framework for computational chemistry, incorporating wumbological energy mappings, delusional mechanics, electron sexuality and cocaine consumption. PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/upl…

If neutron stars are just big atoms, we’d need a periodic table bigger than the observable universe to fit them on. The closest one to Earth is element 10^56, and it’s in group 10 of the transition metals. PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/upl…

We're running out of history.

Why nothing ever happens.

Fungiculture, shotgun sequencing and pumpkin soup... PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/upl…

Mathematicias conclude there are only 137 numbers. PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/upl… Supporting Information: jabde.com/wp-content/upl…

We serendipitously discovered that solid-phase peptide synthesis doesn't have to be done on polystyrene beads: you can just pour your reagents directly onto the bench and it still works. PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/upl…