Personally I think I’d find a new primary care physician if mine was named Dr. Doom…

Did NOT have playing Bingo on my 2024 Bingo card!

One time I was at a Subway and a woman walked in and asked for spaghetti.

Screenwriting hack, want execs to read your script? Title every movie you write, “Untitled JJ Abrams’ movie”

Getting pretty annoyed that none of these Unsolved Mysteries episodes have a satisfying ending.

EARTHQUAKE!!! Me first, please I need this to go viral badly!!!!

My dog has been staring at this 3D Encino Man poster for an hour.

It’s been a while, but we’re back #pimpmyride

This might come off as a little over-confident but I think I could easily win gold at every single event in the Olympics.

I tried the new Instagram AI feature “make funnier.” Think I’m coming around on this AI stuff…

My quick answer when the Letterboxd people ask me my top 4 films on the red carpet.

Incredible to be there to see Vince getting a star on the walk of fame. His movies were some of the biggest comedy influences on my writing and getting to work with him has been the best. #IfYouCanDodgeaWrenchYouCanDodgeaBall

Was invited to the Dodgeball World Series in Austria and got to commentate. I was impressive to say the least. A lot of hand movements.

Trying to pull a Back to the Future at the clocktower right now…

Proud to announce I am getting an Overall Meal from the Chick-Fil-A+ streaming platform.

Big debate on whether to put jokes in the action lines of scripts. I'll tell you as a comedy writer who has sold A LOT of scripts, don't put jokes anywhere; Not in dialogue, not in scenes, not in set pieces. When people say it wasn't funny, accuse of them of not understanding it.

It’s the 4 year anniversary of The Binge! If you haven’t seen it pop over to Hulu tonight! And if you have seen it, watch it again! Why not?!

I'd like to formally pitch myself to write "A JUSTICE LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN." James Gunn please contact UTA and 3 Arts for payment.

I gave this movie a 78 minute standing ovation at the Regal cinemas in Ronkonkoma Long Island in 1994.

"Haven't seen heat like this since I sold my last spec script!" is what I've been saying to every man, woman or child that will listen to me in LA today.