Still life

lmao I actually thought it was Cher that tweeted this

weird that they were billed as alvin *and* the chipmunks, when alvin was himself a chipmunk

Butch Wilmore dicking about on the Starliner spacecraft to NASA.

Watched a couple paddleboarding whilst their little dog swam alongside. This clip is them returning from a turn around the bay. The pic is them setting off.

pinterest is 50% ads, instagram is 80% ads, twitter is nazis, facebook is ads FOR nazis, and tiktok is 12 year olds making anti-seed oil diy sunscreen or whatever. I swear to god, I am THIS CLOSE to reading a book

Turned out nice again

there are 8 billion people in the world and i only have 3 friends and one is annoying.

What’s the youngest age of a person you know who has a phone case that’s one of those leather wallet type ones which has a flappy cover that fastens over the phone screen? Friend has one. We are in hot debate. Ta. (The youngest person I know with one is 80 and is my mother).

Of all the voices we’ve had to listen to on the beach, sunbathing amongst strangers for days on end, the most pleasant to endure in tone, volume and pure melody have been the four middle-aged Irish women next to us today. Delicious.

That’s her on the left, looking confusedly at the confirmation email. Whilst her son (who’s just got up and has a hangover) wanders into the room.

Christ, the admin. I'm out.

Diane Abbott on her ‘romance’ with Jeremy Corbyn is hysterical.

This bit, from a motorbike trip to France, is even funnier:

Can’t believe there was a book that came out in the 1970s and sold millions of copies called ‘The Country Diarrhoea of an Edwardian Lady.’

Love that the guy on the sunbed behind me on the beach is actually reading this book.

Have just clocked that the book is called ‘A History of the World in 47 Borders’ by John Elledge. Must be a book that is truly gripping my guy here, for him to carry on with it in that state.

I had no idea Billy Eilish was American. I was certain - *certain*- she was English. She looks so English, doesn’t she? you can imagine her working in a garden centre in Swindon, pushing a massive pallet of gravel, being stopped by a pensioner asking where the cactus feed is.