caught myself literally sucking my thumb watching obama's national park series ... 10/10!!

eating frozen ravioli out of its little frozen ravioli bag

okay but truly …. one nation under cibo express…. yk???

Companies and institutions that need to be bailed out by the government when they fail, should be owned by the government. You can’t privatize the profit and socialize the losses.

2020

ok but someone actually needs to get slapped at this oscar’s rn

Your love may be over, but these songs are forever. rose kelso brooks allison

im all for banning plastic until it gets to banning the softsoaps w da animals inside 🙈

Feeling phthalo blue? We've got something for you.

shhh shhhh u can’t dismantle capitalism today baby just keep suckin on that elfbar 💕💕💕🙈🥰😘

back to talk about jo koy’s veneers

can’t believe I’m saying this but everyone presenting at the golden globes tn could’ve benefited from a single improv class

starting a buccal fat charity for everyone at the golden globes tn 😔🤲

ray romano is gen x’s nathan fielder

this is the last time I tweeted about kevin costner and it holds up

Battle Of The Instant Songwriters: Rose Kelso (rose kelso) performs “My Wi-Fi Password Is My Birthday” #FallonTonight

Tim Platt (Tim Platt) performs “Friendzoned In The Endzone” in Battle Of The Instant Songwriters! #FallonTonight

this was fun!

wrote this song in an hour and they edited out me saying "shit" when i beefed a line