Thinking about holding a Demolition Party to gut my half story up in anticipation of renovating it- if I supplied food, drink, and sledgehammers, would you come take your anger out on some old plaster?

Chimp Crazy is one of those documentaries where it opens with a lady talking about how she breastfed her chimp and then it actually gets crazy from there

Happy first day of school to all who celebrate!

I used to say $14 but inflation has been real bad

Extra hilarious because the only thing hanging outside of Matt’s is a line of the most suburban dads forcing their begrudging college age kids into selfies in front of the sign

LASER LOON VOTING STICKERS STAT!!

Congrats to Joe on the purchase of his new townhome! We got a shocking surprise on the first offer he made when the inspection discovered a complete lemon that was rotting from the bottom up. That’s what inspectors are for! Thanks Angie Sherer for helping us get it done 🏡☀️

River tank is coming along nicely, I already have to mow the grass. Most of the plants are right from the Mississippi

The thing about fake titties is, if I can touch em, they’re real

I need parents to understand that our feelings like this are reasonable, but wrong. It’s not an inconvenience, it’s a massive barrier to education. Even worse, 100s of kids on phones during a crisis can cause confusion, panic, and failure to listen to directions

Andrew got on the Old Navy millennial mom extra high rise super skinnies

Tag yourself, I’m cocklord

Entrepreneurs who are against strong social safety nets aren’t true visionaries to me, if you’ve never agonized over the innovation and opportunity we are missing out in by keeping people arbitrarily oppressed you’re extremely short sighted

Sent this to the work chat this morning because we don’t have HR

Last year we had geese hanging around in November and winter was mild AF. This year they’re hightailing it out of here first week of September 😬

It’s my time to shine