One time I thought my valor had been stolen, but it turns out it just fell between the cushions of my couch and JD Vance found it for me.

Friends, during this election season, I need to watch what I say or they'll be calling me a radical, a liberal, maybe even fanatical. Some may even call me a criminal. The questions run so deep for such a simple man such as myself.

I couldn’t figure out why I had an insatiable desire to serve borscht at Communion last spring. Then the news about Tim Pool dropped…

Friends, as many of you know, I’m no fan of Putin, but the real damage to this great nation was done by Hunter Biden’s laptop

The Radical Left is shaming JD Vance for covering his modesty in the pool while not in the company of his wife. What they don't know is that he was probably self-baptizing (common to wear a shirt). Their disdain of Evangelicals knows no bounds!

On Sunday I lost my notes, so for my sermon I riffed on the genius of Leon Musk and how the China Flu was an inside job. Long story short, the spirit moved, and the offering was the best ever. That's what happens when you just preach from the Bible!

The Bible says "Do not fear" so many times that I actually have to preach extra hard every Sunday to make people anxious about the devastating effects of a Harris-Walz administration. But that's why I'm paid so well. It's hard work!

Friends, when you interact with a King James Bible aficionado who is citing you verses left and right, just be aware that they may also lack a sarcasm meter

Friends, I have no plan for my sermon this Sunday. I have CONCEPTS of a plan and if I'm pastor this Sunday I will have a great sermon, maybe the best sermon anyone has ever heard.

Friends, say what you want about Pres Trump's abysmal performance in the debate, but one thing is clear: he really loves our failing, dangerous, crime-ridden country.

As a staunch supporter of Pres Trump, what surprised me most about the debate was how ABC News was able to so easily defeat him--something Putin, Kim Jong Un, and the popular vote never could.

I listened to some reggae music last night or it might’ve been zydeco, I can’t tell the difference. Anyway, today my Labradoodle is missing and I don’t think that’s an accident no matter what the city manager says. I have activated the prayer chain 🙌

When my dad gave me the church it was only worth $400 million, but with great management & strategic use of bankruptcy laws, today I am VERY successful with a private aircraft and multiple homes that are tax-free ministry retreats. Thankful to be a self-made SUCCESS story 🙌

I'm allowing one of my assistant pastors to preach this Sunday. But if people like his sermon better than mine, it was COMPLETELY RIGGED. I think he may even have an EAR PIECE feeding him instructions! STOLLEN VALOR!