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I would just like to thank Spotify for always being there for me and never letting me down

Cards FOR Humanity x.com/abc7/status/93…

I just remembered mini m&ms are a thing

me: any historical figure? wizard: that’s right [later at dinner] Beethoven: you seem disappointed me: *hiding dog treats* it’s fine

Me walking into family thanksgiving:

Whatever🙄

I know everyone of these. x.com/cashmoneysara/…

Sometimes your best won't be good enough but that doesn't mean you aren't good enough

I always miss out on everything🙄

Stop buying dogs and getting rid of them because you’re a fucking dumbass, you fucking dumbasses. x.com/_katehowe/stat…

i say “lit” sarcastically all the time but i have a feeling it doesn’t come off as sarcasm and i have just become exactly what i’m trying to make fun of