I gotta say, I was not expecting to suddenly become popular for being the one guy who never stopped listening to Oasis.

The biggest question I have about this story is how do you become a billionaire for creating Telegram? How does a shitty free messenger app make money?

Fact: The March 1993 air date of "Last Exit to Springfield", the episode in which Grandpa Simpson recounts tying an onion to his belt - which was the style at the time - is chronologically closer to the era when nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them than it is to today.

Because I'm an idiot, I have taken my kids back to school shopping at Winners on Saturday afternoon of Labour Day weekend. There's no way this line will ever end. We're never getting out. We live here now.

This may be my hottest take ever, so look away if you can't handle the truth. Clueless > Mean Girls > Legally Blonde

Look, I know that I'm old and I need to change with the times. I've moved my cards to a virtual wallet and I have a phone case where I can keep my driver's license and OHIP card. But I gotta admit that I miss my physical wallet. My butt feels naked.

Today was not without its challenges. But any day that ends with Muse ain't half bad.

I know I say this after ever holiday, but how is it that every 4-day week feels like it drags out for a goddamn eternity?

I just put coffee grounds in my cereal. In case you were wondering how well my brain is working this morning. It's been... a week.

This is a spicy take that's bound to earn me a lot of hate. But my job is to be truthful, not popular. When it comes to Roxette's late-80s power ballads... Listen To Your Heart >>> It Must Have Been Love

Like many things, myself included, album cover design peaked in the 90s.

This goddamn week is over. Let us never speak of it again.

(sigh)... A bunch of new followers to disappoint. This account is almost entirely hot takes about mundane food and 90s music, with a sprinkling of mediocre observations about parenting and getting old. Don't say you weren't warned.

Fuck off, Dollarama, It's still fucking summer. Fuck all the way off.