Gonna make a parody called Snacky Birds. The inhabitants of Springfield will love it.

BREAKING: Least interesting woman claims women more interesting, cites other uninteresting women as proof

My most controversial opinion, apparently, is that Prince made terrible music.

How is hip hop culture still just about gold chains and speakers and hoopdies and gangs and guns it’s gotta get old at some point doesn’t it

The New Girl The Old Man

Nobody cares, Vlad

We’re reaching terminal velocity for pre-election political posts

That Friday night anxiety like you should have plans but your social life has been dead for years

Must be nice to have surgeons willing to fix your injury

After 30 you find yourself doing this about 1,000 times a day

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss

Have they suicided him yet?

They call me Chicken Little. They call me Bubble Boy.

You can count on PA legislators to focus on the most important matters

“Spreadsheet or spread sh*t?” was too obvious to be missed here

(my dog from the back seat) hey you ran that grey light

I think I’m following the wrong accounts

Food isn’t medicine. Food is just food. I was wrong. - Steve Jobs