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Donald Trump says people are "walking off with the geese", which means he's never actually seen a Canada Goose because those things are not called cobra chickens for no reason.

I’m totally not worried about Friday the 13th because every day of 2024 has been horrifying

Go to Springfield, order the cat, the whole thing, medium rare, grab a beer or two, make it three, curly fries and coleslaw, grab a chair out back, ask for the barbecue sauce, tell them you know barbecue.

Wait do people remember when Laura Loomer handcuffed herself to the door of Twitter's NY HQ to protest being banned but it was a double door and she was only linked to one of them so people could just walk right past her

Me at a rave: Where the fuck are the chairs

And this is your guy, huh? Thank you Seth Meyers

These things still exist. In London, there are over 50 gentlemen's clubs. There's over that number across the United States. But "return to the past" trad accounts don't know about them because they are not part of the socio-economic class that's allowed into these clubs

next year there won’t be no phone in the box

I don’t know if y’all know this, but white people eat geese all the time…

J.D. Vance is a time traveler, why else would old couches look like this??? #JDVanceIsWeirdAF

Shorter version: I've done nothing after two years of being a US senator.

Time to add win streak and stats to Strands New York Times Games I be good at it Strands #195 “Elements of style” 🔵🔵🟡🔵 🔵🔵🔵

When you see it...

What do we call the celeb Donald Trump - Laura Loomer meetcute???? #poll #twitterpoll

Republicans have been trying to strip away healthcare for over a decade now. They don't have a plan, period. #Election2024

Maybe it's time for Congress to censure JD Vance since schools and hospitals have to go on lockdown in Ohio, thanks to his actions