Conan the Psychogeographer (1983) Conan embarks on an arduous journey into the kingdom of Aquilonia to map its liminal spaces and explore his own role in relation to the Ballardian cityscape, in a new six-part series for Radio 4.

Un Homme Une Femme Un Café Une Cigarette (1963) Jean-Paul Belmondo and Anna Karina smoke at one another in a Parisian café while filling ashtray after ashtray with lustily sucked Gitanes until they're both engulfed in an immense grey cloud that completely obscures the screen.

Tarzan Pulls It Off (1935) When Jane pops out to do some shopping with Cheetah, Tarzan (Johnny Weissmuller) seizes the opportunity for a quiet wank. But he soon discovers there's nowhere to hide in the jungle.

Werner Herzog's Dumbo (2002) "When one gazes upon the ears of this pathetic creature one grasps how unforgiving and even terrible mother nature is to withhold from the wretched pachyderm the knowledge that its appalling disfigurement is simultaneously the key to its salvation."

Werner Herzog's Love Actually (2003) "These moronic individuals tremble like fawns in vicious mantraps of their own making, senselessly screaming into the unutterable void. It would be a mercy to shoot them in the head, yet one feels on some level they would actually enjoy it."

Ken Loach's "Jez" (2017) A troubled little boy from Yorkshire forms an unshakeable bond with a gnarly old bird of prey.

Steptoe and Steel (1976) Dirty cosmic hijinks ensue when the interdimensional rag and bone men strip lead from a church roof. Lead is not amused. Elsewhere, Steptoe is trapped in a Guinness is Good for You poster.

Werner Herzog's The Snowman (1982) "We are not walking in the air but plunging towards terra firma like a parachutist who took the instructor's wife as a mistress. Little boy, here is your lesson in entropy: love gives life. But time destroys all. Your only friend is a puddle."

When Harry Met Sarlacc (1989) Men and Sarlaccs can never be platonic friends, thinks Harry (Billy Crystal), as sex gets in the way. Sarlacc disagrees. But how long can the Tatooine pit beast deny its feelings? And will Harry ever allow himself to be digested over 1000 years?

My Dinner With Peter Andre (1995) Playwright Wallace Shawn joins the singer-songwriter for dinner and negligible philosophy, in Louis Malle's arthouse smash. Awkward silences ensue, before Andre saves the day with an impromptu rendition of Mysterious Girl on the spoons.

The Citrus Chainsaw Massacre VI: Tangerineface (2016) Tracing the early years of Tangerineface and his brother-and-sister parents Pip and Pippa, pictured here wearing their masks of stitched-together orange peel. ("It squeezed the juice out of me" - Alan Jones, FrightFest)

Raise the Alarm (2005) For many years, crusty skipper Dafydd Jones (Anthony Hopkins) has told of a long-lost Welsh new wave band, said to lie at the bottom of the Bristol Channel. Can shadowy American investors help dredge them from the sea bed? A post-punk nautical adventure.

Tears in Rain (1987) In 2017 AD, eco warrior Helena Bonham Carter teams up with Robbie Coltrane's wisecracking seahorse, in a drowned UK. Standard British dystopian sci-fi, which means everybody inexplicably dresses in 1920s fashions and acts like they've got a mild head injury.

The Oh, Man (1976) A demonic little boy grows up to destroy the United Kingdom, in this classic Brit horror.

Children of the Quorn XIII: The Farrago (2019) A mysterious newcomer called "The Frog" tells young cult leader Pfeffel that in order to save the commune they must first burn it to the ground.

Being There (But Not Involved) (2015) After simpleminded Chauncey Gardiner is plucked from his allotment and placed near the seat of power, he briefly enthralls members with vague homilies half-remembered from an old copy of Marxism for Beginners. That he never finished reading.

Hemlock Road (1970) The Rolling Stones and friends compare venereal diseases and try on a range of fancy Afghan hats, in this rockumentary shot entirely in a bath in East Acton. The film's release was delayed by two years after Anita Pallenberg accidentally threw her ribcage up.

Liam Gallagher's Toe-Sucking Party (2019) Feature-length music promo for new album 'Me Birdbox', in which the editors of Q, Mojo, NME and Uncut queue up to pamper and nibble the former Oasis frontman's toes, while he distractedly taps their backs with a silver-topped cane.

Our Kid: The Real Oasis Story (2021) Through never before seen footage, Peter Jackson's new documentary explores the truth behind Noel and Liam Gallagher's relationship; that of undying love, harmony and mutual respect. "I'd even let him win at Connect Four," says Noel.

Happy #SummerSolstice!