In Which Pooh Breaks the Internet… .

Pooh Sticks wasn’t the same since they introduced VAR .

“Can we go home now?” asked Piglet. “No,” said Pooh. “Not till we’ve reached 10,000 steps” .

After three hours, Pooh was beginning to regret swiping right… .

“Only three sleeps till Christmas!” said Piglet, hopping about excitedly. “Huh…what?” yawned Pooh. “OK,” said Piglet, “In your case, thirty-eight.”

“What’s Blue Monday?” asked Pooh. “It’s the day when everyone feels down and miserable,” answered Piglet. “Not everyone,” said Pooh… #BlueMonday

‘So, he said he was Prince Andrew and did I want to come to a party? I thought, what’s the worst that could happen..?’

REVEALED: What REALLY happened to that Chinese balloon…

Pooh bobbed cheerily and serenely in the cloudless sky until he realised he’d floated over American territory .

If modern readers are getting agitated about Roald Dahl, what will they make of this section of my book ‘Noah No One and the Night of the Weredrobes’?

Pooh and Piglet decided to change the location of next year’s #PancakeDay tossing contest…

“What’s the big fuss?” asked Eeyore, glumly. “It’s Piglet!” said Winnie the Pooh, “He found a tomato!” . .

“I don’t know,” said Christopher Robin,”Pooh sticks just doesn’t feel the same now it’s the JD Sports 100 Acre Wood Hyper Megabridge …” .

Sadly, Pooh had never heard of Rishi Sunak and was never seen again. .

“So,” asked Piglet, “Do you think they should switch to a 3-4-3 with inverted wing-backs and a false number nine or stick with the current formation and lump it up to the big man up top?” “Er…” said Pooh. #MOTD

“And the winner for Best Character in the Winnie the Pooh books is…”

“Yuk!” said Pooh, “What’s this?” “Guinness!” said Piglet, swigging from his glass. “We’re celebrating St Patrick’s Day. He’s the patron Saint of Ireland.” “Is there a patron Saint of Honey?” said Pooh, spitting out the dark liquid.

“Have you written a poem for #WorldPoetryDay ?” asked Piglet. “Of course!” said Pooh. “Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hunny is sweet, And so are you. Although nowhere near as sweet as honey.” “Beautiful,” said Piglet.

“Don’t forget to put all your clocks forward tonight,” said Piglet. “How much?” asked Pooh. “About five inches, I think,” said Piglet, confidently. .

“I’m sorry,” said Pooh as Tigger scowled and laid down his spoon. “I’m all out of antelope and buffaloes.” .