aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh *smashes everything*

NEW: We've mirrored the newly unsealed Epstein docs here because PACER has crashed: 404media.co/download-the-j…

My daughter just bought herself a lava lamp and you’d never know she hasn’t seen the opening scene of “The Lion King”.

👀

The next week will see the second-highest COVID levels of the pandemic so far. If you are sick, please stay home if you can. If you have to go into work, please wear an N95 mask to protect others. If you are an employer or political leader, please increase paid sick days.

Happy new year, my 3yo just asked me if I’m “more than 100”. 😑

Nothing makes me feel more like Methuselah than the Urban Outfitters sale rack.

I love knowing I’m not alone.

The amount of journalism talent on the market right now vs jobs available seems at an all-time mismatch.

You’ve heard of midnight but have you heard of kidnight? My 3yo and I just decided that it’s at 8 pm and it’s when big kids (ie 3yo’s) go to bed. 😂

modern society is so divorced from our food sources that most people who eat pop tarts have never actually killed one themselves

You can tell my kids are from the Bay Area because the 3yo just blamed a mystery fart on “the Baylands”.

yes, you can buy Drunk Elephant products with your leftover healthcare FSA funds! (that's probably a catchier way to lead in to an FSA spending thread.)