we can’t have a prime minister who brings my group chat comedy material from two weeks ago to life!! 😭😭

I can’t believe I saw this queue and decided to get an ice cream and then drove straight out, while all these other people chose to piss in their cars and starve

seeing your friend called out this hard is like ice to the lungs the female webmaster

Fantastic last sentence.

Also would add: any literary novel described as 'hilarious' is always 'not hilarious.'

you should be allowed to king hit people if they start saying bangs or math or sweater or whatever

I clicked my jaw out and I can't get it to go back in

running some simulations in my head to create the most extreme reactions to the new cnz funding model that we would have seen if old twitter were alive today

working on my website to make it slightly worse

we finished my mum’s citizenship application only a short five years after I printed out the forms for her, three years since she said the lockdown meant she’d have no excuse not to fill them out, and fifty-three years after she moved here

trying to eat a takeaway meal without touching wooden cutlery or paper straws but also without anyone noticing you’re being weird about it: ah paying the puzzle piece tax yet again

ird sent me a student loan bill for four thousand dollars but that's okay because if you get called the māori élite three times they send you the unlimited debit card te pūtea nui

I have not received funding for my anthology of new zealand essays, poems and interviews where the author out of nowhere mentions they didn't go to victoria university of wellington te herenga waka's one year MA programme

sadly I have acquired a brain disease from reading the piece 'the makings of a literary it girl' and will not be contactable for the next six months nylon.com/life/the-makin…

It’s BAD we’re on day 11 of getting every lawyer and spokesmodel in the country to write a column chastising young people for voting in their best interests and not the interests of people who are given platforms to publicly voice their humiliatingly facile political opinions

there needs to be a ban on north americans talking about us until they learn to say Māori and Pasifika and not part native pacific islander part maori half indigenous people from pacific islands

I can't believe they did this to us, the at least two loyal fans from anal duck

my mum voted for labour candidates for 40 years until they unleashed this ghoulish essence of westmere down bullock track onto the unsuspecting victims of the st lukes foodcourt chair shortage (2020–ongoing)

I have decided to post my responses to the ‘songs that bring you joy’ trend from two months ago

change your name to genocide museum then