when my kids were learning to go potty and say 'occupied', they would say 'porcupine' instead

hate you so hard right now 🫶

uh oh, crashed hard and now i'll be up all night 😈

i'm just waiting for my man boobs to stop jiggling when i try to twerk 😽

when i think of seeing you for the first time, twice i tackle your face and don't let go, and the other three times i weep