Louisiana is the Italy of America: - good food - catholicism - historic associations with the mafia - occasional fascist leadership - shaped like a shoe

Ok but I’m bringing a gun

I just had $100 order stolen by a batch grabber

If anyone should "hide their head in a bag", it's this lipless Green Acres-looking motherfucker. 🖕

I need one of those gay jobs where I work for like 2 hours and then go to the gym and “run errands” but am still in a high tax bracket

This is the guy that spends 5 days a week eating pizza in a porn booth right? Yeah put him in charge of everything.

Me: Republicans can't possible find a black candidate worse than Herschel Walker. Mark Robinson: Hold my swastika and my binoculars!

I need to do a fundraiser because food costs for all the things I want to cook are exceeding available funds

DHS received credible threats of 5 separate teams targeting the former President operating inside of the U.S. So, they thought the best cause of action is to notify *checks note* Matt Gaetz. Are these teams suspected of posing as High School Cheerleaders?

I guarantee I won’t live a single day past 60 with this one simple trick 😅

Just an extraordinary predator to non-predator ratio here

It’s not a river monster it’s an alligator gar, couyon.

RFK Jr is gonna admit that he not only had the affair with Nuzzi, but that he also was on Nude Africa fraternizing with Mark Robinson. He'll mention eating human flesh in passing.

Knee deep in muddy water, still carryin' my K Right pocket got money, left pocket cocaine Bulletproof white Cadillac, ridin' in a tank

Finding your neglected cat in your own basement after accusing an immigrant of taking it is actually something Lucille would do on Arrested Development