Couple of cheeky pickups today 😉

Aw, me and Santa's Little Helper used to be a team, but he never wants to play anymore since his bitch moved in!

Uh... I don't know if I want you in here no more, Homer. I got a lot of secrets I'd prefer to keep clandestine... Terrible, disturbing secrets...

trying to buy Oasis tickets this morning like

Get outta my office!

In the opening credits, what does the cash register say when Maggie is scanned?

#NewProfilePic

Gasp! A counterfeit jeans ring operating out of my car hole!

I never apologise, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.

Ah, my plan has come to fruition. Soon I'LL be queen of summertime!

They're gonna take my thumbs!

A rare fun conversation with a rep at a call center led to I was a writer & had worked on Simpsons. They immediately said "Boy you all are good with predictions" I said "Those are all coincidences" They said "Ha, that's what they tell you to say" Made me wonder what U believe

Man, that is flagrant false advertising!

I mean, I grew up to he an overweight, doughnut eating, borderline alcoholic who doesn't work very hard and watches TV all day... eerie!

I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's!

Just thank heaven everything worked out for the people we care about!

This poll is clearly rigged. Everyone knows that Simpsons writers can actually see into the future. It's all in a book by the head of the Spaceology Department at the Correspondence College of Tampa!

In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women...

Thank you, Doctor. Whenever the wind whistles through the leaves, I'll think Lowenstein... Lowenstein...

There are some who say Hitler's skeleton is in the trunk. Others say just a spare tyre. I'm a busy man, so I haven't checked yet!