I think I should designate just one room in my apartment for pissing and shitting. It would make clean up easier!

I was shitting on the floor last night, then the floorboards gave way and I tumbled into the bathroom below, right onto another person taking a shit. Needless to say, the situation was quite comical.

I have a crying room it’s where my “boyfriends” sleep

My crying room is also my shitting room

The whole diarrhea on the plane incident could have been avoided by the presence of a really long toilet.

What if the person who doesn’t like Martin Short thinks Jimmy Fallon is hilarious?

Not gonna link article about not finding Martin Short funny, but consider the possibility that COVID may have taken away the author’s sense of taste

Adding must find Martin Short funny to my tinder profile

Homunculus mom

GIRL DINNER *eats a plate of cold diarrhea and a babybel cheese

You don’t have to go all the way to France to get bed bugs, just meet me at my vagina!

Cum on my ozempic face

Haven’t been on Twitter for awhile what did I miss?

I am about join Onlyfans. If you wish to stop this, please send money to my link in bio. I was required by law to make this statement.

The dude I keep in a box under my bed has been living through something I call Five Nights at Farty’s

I wish Mr. Peanut wasn’t dead. Really need to fuck his brains out rn

I haven’t been too active on here bc I started my own business

President Carter hmu

Great all the men I want to fuck are dying #ripkissinger

David Lynch hmu