Now that’s what the fuck I’m here for!!

you have to be severely chronically online to get this specific choice of pic

i love people who put trash in their pockets until they find a trash can 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

pilots lowkey have aura when they walk past you in the airport

why as a Chipotle worker are you telling the lady at the register I got double chicken

Decision fatigue. From meals to career paths

putting “reddit” at the end of every question i have on google cuz i will never trust an AI i need John from 13 years ago that has the same problem as me to solve it

I’m bout to start telling people “land your plane” when they’re talking in circles..

Who else wants E. Jean Carroll to sue Trump again for defamation? ✋🏽

Think about this: No living Republican Vice President is voting for their party’s nominee, Donald Trump.

One time my dad's girlfriend tried to get him to see a hypnotist to quit smoking but he said he knew of a guy who recovered a memory under hypnosis and couldn't stop screaming. It took my sister to point out that he didn't, that was something that happened on The Simpsons.

If Dick Cheney is voting for Kamala Harris, it’s safe to say this election is not any kind of referendum on conservatism. Conservatism is not on the ballot, so let’s just all band together and beat the guy who would ignore our votes and terminate the Constitution.

Harris endorsed by: Biden sitting POTUS Obama former POTUS Clinton former POTUS Carter former POTUS Al Gore former VP Dick Cheney former VP Trump endorsed by: . . . . . . Kim Jong Un Kevin Sorbo

Dear Vice President Kamala Harris Harris, When debating Trump do what others have refused: 1. Call him a coward for his five deferments. 2. Call him a failure for his six bankruptcies 3. Ask him if all 27+ women accusing him of rape or assault are all wrong. 4. Ask him if he lost the 2020 election

if u write me a letter i will literally keep that sh!t for the rest of my life

omg that’s like their beyoncé

fun fact: just because u don't understand the way somebody feels, doesn't mean their emotions are invalid

kids running to give you a tiny hug is the best thing ever

So the fraternal order of police endorsing a rapist felon should officially make them a laughing stock.

There's a bit of sadness when you're at a restaurant and the food isn't delivered by Your Server. "and who ordered the Alfredo?" You don't know us at all. Jenny would know. Jenny would know who ordered the Alfredo.