Me whenever i discover a random bruise on my leg

Just found a true treasure in the depths of my bedroom closet this is ur sign to organize ur closet

If I’m being real i don’t rly care about closet organization I just wanted to remind the timeline that I’m bad… taking accountability for the false narrative i created here

My campaign is not going right. Please leave a small donation and retweet me in order to depart for Egypt when the crossing opens Operation Olive Branch Keara Sullivan gofundme.com/f/help-me-to-e…

It's very important. Only 38,000 left until we reach the goal. Send your solidarity in the amount of 10 euros to save my family. Mountains are made of pebbles, 10, 10, 10 😭🤍 🇺🇦пущпищ Operation Olive Branch Keara Sullivan gofundme.com/f/help-me-to-e…

For fans of character actors, this was like Shaq and Kobe teaming up. We’ll never see anything like it again.

Shane MacGowan relevant as always

What the F is Woke? lol Like I give a Fuck.

I feel like we all collectively found out that dolphins are perverts back in the late 2010’s era but for some reason no one thinks it’s common knowledge… like every time someone brings it up I can see in their eyes they think my mind is about to be blown

As an introvert let me just say that the idea of someone starting a conversation with me and immediately delving into their take on the “meaning of life” genuinely chills me to the bone that is a nightmare I’d rather be bullied to my face than have this happen to me

the bechdel test video game actually looks pretty cool

Sorry but if ur a grown ass man who sees a sink full of dirty dishes everyday and it never once occurs to you to help out with those dishes, that is absolutely a YOU problem. Like something went wrong in the critical object permanence early reasoning stage of ur development.

I wish people wouldn’t purposefully crop out my username when reposting my tweets but sadly this perfect utopia I dream of has yet to be realized

Just rewatched the Game of Thrones finale and finally realized why the ending felt so familiar… it’s literally a “Girl who’s going to be okay” scene. And in case anyone thinks I’m exaggerating, see my edit with the appropriate 90’s coming of age music below.

The hottest thing a man can do is be noticeably flustered by my presence

I’m not exaggerating when I say this commercial completely changed my life

Cashier: and will you be needing a bag today? JD Vance:

The thing about Andrew Tate is he tries so so hard to come off macho but his innate energy is that of a men’s luxury haberdashery owner. Like I can picture him gently presenting a tie and saying “only the finest of silks, of course” so clearly.