My current path in life is being an aunt that only gets invited to certain events

Do you ever think you’re rich and then realize you haven’t paid rent yet?

I just found my remote in the fridge but other than that totally I’m fine

I just rediscovered the phrase “high falutin” and am planning on saying it everyday for the rest of my life

The new girl who lives above Colin is a professional opera singer and trying to match back her pitch is the greatest joy I’ve experienced all of 2020

😂😂😂😂

Growing apart from friends is a tough reality

A needlessly expensive, slinky summer dress that i won’t wear anywhere for another year and a half? Don’t mind if i do

Obsessed with calling people “emotionally unavailable” when they simply do not like me

Expense I’m most shocked by as an adult???? HANDS DOWN the cost of a 4x6 rug, like seriously wtf

The weird thing about people in relationships giving you unsolicited dating advice is that they think you want .... their relationship ....

A common theme throughout every book is that I feel extremely sophisticated while reading them

2020 is the year we all expected 2012 to be

This is no time for The Office to be leaving Netflix

Hard to believe my wealthy, married, extremely happy friend has the same horoscope as me

Permission slips held so much power back in the day. The mere concept of them now seems laughable

Put the cilantro and parsley on opposite sides of the grocery store!!!!

I’m at the point of this pandemic that I’m now attracted to Post Malone

Covid is the reason I haven’t been to the dentist in three years

Life hack: an alternative to washing dishes is to just throw them away