Everyone has that one friend that tries to take blood samples from everyone they meet

Kyle Shanahan has seen enough of Brock Purdy😳

Feeling really bad for John F. Kennedy; he's now missed not only one, but two Lions playoff wins.

Just got kicked out of Rodney's Mailbox Emporium for the third time. Apparently dogs still aren't allowed in; I'm disgusted.

Just filled my buddy Eric's fire extinguisher with whipped cream. Gonna be so funny next time he has a big house fire.

Over the last 12 games, Brandon Boston Jr. leads all 2nd round guards 6'4 or taller and weighing less than 200 lbs in pull-up 3 point attempts per game (0.7) 🔥 This kid is special.

Nothing better than a warm beer after an easy day's work

Molars are the offensive linemen of teeth

I kicked a pregnant woman one time

Mikal Bridges is about to become the second player ever to average more than 48 minutes a game

Got so baked one time I started watching Isaac Seumalo highlights

Parking garages are still cool

Shivering is a pathetic body temperature regulation function. Doesn't hold a candle to sweating. What a joke.

Just realized it's called a sweet potato because it's sweet. I thought it was because it's orange

Got so high last night I started to think my cheerios were republicans

Imagine winning back to back Super Bowls, becoming the highest paid center of all time, and you're still making less than Evan Fournier

People who say autumn are sus

People who use voice text in public should be put down