#ILoveMyMomBecause she has dealt with me every day for 17 years and still hasn't killed me.

I wish every time I made a mistake in life a red line would appear which I could click on and get recommended alternatives.

In 1893 an amendment was proposed to rename the US to the United States of Earth.

"'Mr. Carpenter says fear is a vile thing, and is at the bottom of almost every wrong and hatred of the world.'" L.M. Montgomery 🍁 #quotes

If you ever feel like a failure, just know that somewhere in the world, someone just lost their straw inside a Capri Sun.

As far as foiled crimes go, this one belongs in the Hall of Fame -- a Burger King employee moving the getaway car: usat.ly/155vMgM

That awkward moment when #WhenTwitterWasDown is trending and you didn't even notice twitter was down... Cats Being Awkward #itscalledajob

It is often better to use ordinary words effectively than big words that no one understands.

Old age is not a matter of passing years, but rather the phrase we use to describe people who have lost the magic of life.

“Don't you know that it is only the very foolish folk who talk sense all the time?” ― L.M. Montgomery L.M. Montgomery 🍁 #AnneOfGreenGables

“Youth is not a vanished thing but something that dwells forever in the heart.” ― L.M. Montgomery L.M. Montgomery 🍁 #youngatheart

Sleep is only one way to rest. The other million ways involve good books.

I look up at prayer meeting to see my brother crawling under the pews. He's 15. The PK Life

It's like the college kid equivalent of a breakfast lunchable. #thegoodlife

Those people who say "there is never a stupid question" Have never worked in Customer Service.

"'I'm next thing to an orphan,' said Rilla. 'I've only got one father and mother.'" L.M. Montgomery 🍁, Anne of Ingleside #quotes