@_mandymmmkay
ID:16962773
linkhttp://www.amandakeener.com calendar_today25-10-2008 05:15:14
35,2K Tweets
852 Followers
239 Following
3 years ago
Friday I arrived home from work around midnight. As I walk in, my 11 year old is sitting in the floor, holding my chihuahua. He slowly strokes her as he looks up at me and says, βIβve been expecting you.βIβm raising a super villain.
Iβve started getting emails about picking out the perfect NYE outfit.Repeatedly disappointed when itβs not sweats.
If yβall need sticks for your snowman, I still have half a tree in a pile in my front yard.Help yourself π
Me: βHey Siri, when is my husbandβs birthday?βSiri on full blast: βWhich husband?βMy Kids:
Fargo Season 4 came to a close, I just caught up tonight and bravo! That season 2 tie in.I have a list of other things I βneed to watchβBut I really just want to start Fargo over π€·π»ββοΈ
Man, some people are about to have some awkward thanksgivings π
Iβm just waiting for the election to end so I can congratulate you all on voting in a privileged rich white man.
When the recipe says to βadd wineβAm I doing this right?
Itβs frustrating being lactose intolerant, I try to find vegan meals because I can guarantee theyβre dairy free.But then theyβre full of mushrooms...... which Iβm also allergic to. π
I did this and now Iβm going to bed until the screaming starts.
My dog: HI! HI! HI! HI!Me: ... Did you poop in the house!?My dog:
Nothing like coming home at midnight to find the pepper plants your husband migrated inside for winter are having an aphid outbreak.Google says this specific kind can grow wings too.Oh joy.
I canβt stop watching this.