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Maybe the reason we don’t have any good serial killers anymore is because the defense is so good today. The goat serial killers would not be able to compete in today’s game. Ted Bundy would have never put up the numbers he did, he would be a role player at best

just lost custody of my kids this shits fuckin awesome

Don’t try killing yourself if you haven’t explored all your options. Have you even tried being a magician?

you’re not an underground rapper your music is just ass

Ive always dreamed of being on TV and this week that finally came true🩷 check out my film debut on the next season of to catch a predator

Naming Chicago’s soccer team the Chicago Fire is crazy. What’s next, the New York 9/11’s??

I am one Sydney Sweeney Instagram post away from my dick falling off

Seeing my ex and asking if her little brother finally beat autism yet

Kamala cannot ban fracking. I have no idea what it is but it sounds cool asf

My grandma used to tell me not to be afraid of thunder because it’s just God beating the shit out of his wife

I be waking up really early just to say odd shit to women

Big X’s tattoo artist must be making bank. Bro has so much surface area

You got an Instagram for your dog, I got an Instagram for a my hawg. We are not the same #meatmonday

Osama Bin Laden on September 10, 2001

Just looked at my calendar. I spent so long trying to remember the Alamo I forgot 9/11 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Imagine Biden didn’t misspeak and he actually flies a plane into the pentagon today

She said I was the man of her dreams but she was talking about him

I would be too powerful if I had access to a mariachi band

I miss you like Dick Cheney misses quail