Twitter Beğeni Hilesi

(about to open briefcase i filled with ladybugs) hey, hey dude *poking guy with lesbian haircut sitting on park bench* how funny would it be if this shit was full of bugs

sitting here watching the ubisoft connect server page, and cant help but laugh at all the people flooding in with reports. its like when you slip on ice then watch everyone after you fall

my twitter persona is leaking into real life.. whenever i talk to someone a little bubble appears over my head that says “probably spam”

i havent felt right ever since the brain beetle started laying eggs inside my head

i paid someone $20 to film everything i do for a full day. my doctor watched the footage back and confirmed im extremely healthy, but the only thing hed change would be to stop letting the sewer people suck my blood for hours. ya..(swallowing blood pills) sure thing doc🙄

its a sign ive been working with a guy for a long time when i tell him he has the mind of a field mouse and i have one of a great horned owl, and he doesnt respond at all. its not fun anymore. hes supposed to tell me to stop talking. well, actually he does say that everyday still

yawning and looking at my watch whenever my boss talks to me

last night i let the AI mode talk🎶

daily cosmic news officially confirmed a guy. and hes got quite a wicked sense of humor to boot!

1st page of The Boys comic is off to a great start. reading that in his cockney accent with that sly smile is so funny

i participated in the presidential debate as an independent third party. went in with no knowledge on anything political, but won the crowd over by continuously pivoting all questions into being about the fae realm, and mocking the other candidates for their lack of magic powers

(approaching you from the shadow of an alley. head rapidly expanding and contracting) hey mind if i tell you a little bit about the forgotten kingdom of the elder moon.. agh.. sorry, heads killing me. got any powder made from sea crystals by chance?

i was on the cover of sports illustrated that they unfortunately decided to scrap last minute. my nude body was painted in a tasteful smurf blue, and on my plump belly sat my tiny father. he was so excited for it we couldnt bare to tell him he wasnt supposed to be naked too

thinking about starting a groupchat where we discuss all things gaming, anime, manga, comics, etc.. pretty much any type of media you can consume. there couldnt possibly be anyone interested in joining that, could there?

2am.. (facetime call ringing) my boss: (rubbing his eyes and squinting at phone) h-hello? me: (incredibly drunk bloodshot eyes staring lifelessly into the screen) hey man hows your weekend been?

telling myself im never gonna drink again, then the very next night downing 100 bottles of beer on the wall

downloaded threads and every post is gay, so im killing myslef. gulp.. (my cats meow in such a cute way alll of a sudden) wait no, life is beautiful and actually threads just has gay posters. the format is based as fugck

*inching toward you on the street like a little worm* spare me a smile, luv? my my.... that's the ticket .... *continues to inch past respectfully*