Twitter Beğeni Hilesi

When do I stop having sudden moments of panic because I haven’t looked at the baby monitor in awhile and it’s because oh hey look at that I’m holding him 🙃

My mom’s getting a colonoscopy on Thursday. My dad said she should stick a piece of paper in her butt crack that says, “I’ve been trying to reach you regarding your car’s extended warranty.” I told her if this gets 10K likes, she has to do it. She agreed. Internet: Do your thing.

Come on, Twitter. Don’t let me down. I NEED THIS. PLEASE JUST LET ME HAVE THIS. 😩🙏🏻

What Douglas said!

It was a success! And…*got

Hahaha y’all. 96.3 KKLZ talked about my mom’s butt note on the radio. And there’s an article about it too. I’m CRYING. 😂💀 963kklz.com/2022/09/08/get…

Harvard and Yale should revoke human trafficker Ron DeSantis's degrees.

I’m late to the party, but I can’t wait to show my son the live action Little Mermaid 200 times before I ever show him the animated version. The Ariel he grows up watching and loving will be Black. 🧜🏾‍♀️

❤️❤️❤️

Good morning. Texas deserves better than Greg Abbott.

Just thinking about the time I called the after hours hotline for my son’s pediatrician & the nurse asked what his temp was. When I told her it was a high fever, she said “How are you taking it?” to which I replied, “Not very well” instead of, “With a forehead thermometer.” 😐

I used to dream about going to SXSW. Now, I dream about being HXMS (Home by myself).

Ordered the board book “Hands Are Not For Hitting” and so far it’s been very effective in getting my toddler to stop using his hands to hit me! Now he uses them to throw the book at me. 🙏🏻

Pretty sure 80% of parenting a toddler is standing on one side of the door while they open and close it from the other side of the door.