If doing the Scarn is gay. Then I’m the biggest queer on Earth.

Bro why Elsa so bad

I love titties as much as Lindi loves Jeans.

Sometimes you just gotta risk it for the brisket

Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, 10 fingers, two nipples, a butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Lochness Monster, and the reward for its capture…all the riches in Scotland. So I have one question, why are you here?

Hey Bryson Holt instead of being a fucking pussy. Why don’t you insult me to my face.

The only thing that would make this day better is some titties.

So the other day my dishwasher broke, and the doctor said, “Just make sure your wife doesn’t do anything and recovers properly.” Like wtf? How the hell are these dishes supposed to get clean?

Grandmas are the move.

Welcome to the ThunderDome Bitch

Bro if I was a school shooter, I would have had at least 20 kills no cap

I like my women just like how I like my Walmart. Clean and guaranteed at a low price.

Hey I’m Ricky Bobby. And if you don’t chew Big Red then fuck you.

There are two things bad about weed brownies. Drugs and the calories

Bro if I was a girl, I’d be gettin dick right now.

Read the first letter of each emoji 🧊 🍉🍎👃👃🍎 ☀️☂️🥐🦘 ☀️🍊🐵🥚 🌳🧊🌳🌳🧊🥚☀️

Big boobz

Waiter: “what can I get you guys to drink tonight?” Me: “The will to stay living.”

Was not expecting to wake up this morning... or ever again in fact