As a tax analyst, I feel like it’s important for me to let the LGBT community know that we are paying for religious institutions to have property exemptions. If they’re exempt, the government has to make up that money elsewhere. Just thought I’d let you know we subsidize

I declare that rimming shall now be called butthead

If your parents are trying to push “no sex before marriage on you,” at the wedding, right before you say “I do,” start fucking in front of everyone. That would be hilarious

Next time I cum on someone’s face, I’m gonna awkwardly say I hope they enjoyed the baby shower

I literally never use Snapchat, but y’all should add me. My handle is TwunkTheTwink

My new lucky number is 34

Don’t forget to be eco friendly. Reduce, reuse, then recycle your bottoms