I feel homesick but not sure whats home anymore

me: lmao i saw it on twitter them: what’s your twitter me: i don’t have twitter

There is no wrong way to use a comma. If it feels right, it is

I need a level of sleep that’s somewhere between full night and coma

definitely pulled everyone i ever wanted but at what cost

I wish people lose all communication with me and leave me the f#ck alone like they did with Sunita Williams.

Navya, sweetie.. you could have just done houseful instalment 11 instead of joining a PGP course.

Smuggled some booze to office today. Might get more courageous tomorrow and bring along some will to actually work.

I need this, programmed by AI, to alert me with ‘Bread now has fungus’

Somewhere in Bangalore

Once worked in a firm with founder wife mode.

College so bad that I would better show a 4 year gap in my resume than showing this fuckass college

Is it such a crime to be quiet? Why do people act like being reserved is a trait that needs correcting?

I absolutely hate it when they say this list is ‘not all-inclusive’. I mean do your job properly. Where am I supposed to look now?

If I tell you I'm grinding, I just mean my teeth.

A chair for me and a chair to put my legs on

If I were a film reviewer, you’d be getting updates of each half hour every alternate day.

i love it when i stump the IT guy. aha you thought this would be a quick ticket. just remote in, click one button, and make me look like a fool. but alas, i have fucked things up more than you could’ve imagined

I know it’s su!cide awareness month but please don’t check up on me, i’ll k!ll myself.

I don’t take food pictures anymore because once my phone fell in hot soup and I had to buy a BRAND NEW soup.