Bring back the good old days where people used them traditionally i.e. for a piss, or to call your dealer

In one of those moods today where almost anything could send me over the edge

You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

Woke up fuming because I dreamt I was dumped by Jacob Elordi & then remembered that the kettle died last night so I had to boil water on the stove for tea like it was WWII. Appalling scenes

Husbands on their way to use your new shampoo & then deny it while smelling gorgeous

It is fucking freezing

Ok, so we have bloodied horses running wild through the capital & Big Ben has stopped working, so by my estimates the plague of locusts & the comically large tsunami should arrive around 3pm (not that you’d know because of aforementioned giant stopped clock)

I can quite honestly say I’d pass away immediately upon seeing a horse covered in blood running through central London

Once it’s over I demand a coffee table book of all the art from this trial. Iconic

Rewatching The Walking Dead before bed seems a good idea 😍

I have been vindicated as it went cold & started belting it down again 😍

There’s something so embarrassing about having to carry a coat you thought you’d need when you severely underestimated how warm it would be

Grandpa Joe the second Charlie shows him the golden ticket after being sat on his arse for 20 years

Me, conspicuously Welsh, staying out of the St George discourse x

Just put the heating on

He’s been! He’s been! 🧚‍♂️🍞

So tired

The instant you turn your out of office on

Monday