“Here’s Johnny (he/him)!”

watched a video about poverty in Haiti and the “dirt cookies” they make, can’t eat now without thinking about those kids and women

three tickets to challengers please

memory palace? uhhh if I was in a palace, I’d remember

I wanna put a quarter in his back

Hey, before I come over, do you have any cats? No, are you allergic? No, I want to pet a cat.

“Here’s your host Jimmy Fallon!”

i'm in genuine comedic awe of this tiny speech

this is fucking disgusting and dangerous. your cops shot three people, including a cop, to try to stop a guy who happened to have a knife who jumped the turnstile. if the cops weren't there, no one would have been shot. DEFUND THE POLICE

my 13th reason

a hate state, if you will

my college asked for my pronouns and i said I prefer my name be used, and they wrote this 🤣🤣

I had such high hopes for Uglies 😔

this movie

when a movie flashes back to a moment we’ve already seen to explain something, I’m like oooooooh you think we’re idiots, gotcha

man I love watching that British horse bite people

sorry I’ve been told I shouldn’t speak of Piers Morgan this way