PIANIST TWITTER:

I know compositions regularly have one hand tapping away at a different pace from the other, with the left often plodding in minims while the right trots in quavers, but have any been written where fingers on the same hand are required to do this simultaneously?

It's not a 'new government', people. Don't make me have to pin this tweet.

10 Downing Street, London SW1A 2AB? I mean it’s *quite* short but I wouldn’t say astonishingly so. Maybe slotting in the word ‘address’ was a typo. That would make sense.

Just done a joke about Rishi Sunak's height and feel bad because comedy should be about punching up.

Oh. come *ON*! This is an excellent pun. Philistines.

Johnson hates him and will hate this, so good good.

Mord ain't.

Thatcher-Lawson
Blair-Brown
Cameron-Osborne

Broadcasters are going to have to tread carefully when they talk of a Sunak-Hunt partnership…

Johnson loyalist Christopher Chope MP calls for a general election in interview with Nick Robinson on #r4today . He’s unhinged but he’s right on this, and all credit to him: I didn’t predict it from any of his backers. Will others follow?

Recent UK PMs:

• Cavalier condom-balloon who threw the country under the bus on an entitled whim
• Ptheresadactyl
• Fuck-happy albino Grotbags (blood group: BS+)
• Cardboard flight attendant
• Shiny billionaire who tried to pay for someone’s else’s petrol with a Coke can

Within a few days (and probably only for a few weeks, as I can’t see Johnson sticking around), there will be three former PMs sitting in the Commons simultaneously. Has that ever happened before? I don’t think it has in my lifetime.