I will be introducing a bill to ban elementary school students from voting even though it’s already illegal for them to vote in federal elections. I intuitively know young kids are voting in federal elections but can’t prove it. However my cousin’s friend read it on the internet.

BREAKING: Republican commentator Charlie Kirk just blamed Donald Trump and Republicans for there being no border security legislation. Retweet so every American sees Republicans blame Trump for the open border.

I'm dog brained: I see Marmaduke.

I ate H-E-B chicken salad for lunch and I'm melting from the inside. That stuff is trying to kill me. I just bought it today but it has to be spoiled. Ugh...

Bwhahaha! So true

Yep

Every Chef on TV.

'I'm going to show you an easy recipe made from ingredients in everyone's pantry. We'll start with Madagascar Vanilla Bean, hemp milk, ground fairy wings and a single feather from a DoDo bird.'

To all the men feeling attacked right now, maybe you should smile more.

Three of the five years I've lived here have set records, but, hey, climate change is a hoax made up by the Democrats.

Bwhahaha!!!!

Should send to a coworker that tried to throw me under the bus for his $2M fuck up.

Looks like we're in for a hellova summer if San Antonio is on point to save the Texas energy grid.

All of a sudden I have men falling at my feet. What did you all tell them about me? Bwhahaha!

Wonder if the dogs and cats are planning something fun for moms day?

Houdi's ears are the cutest!!!