While I was preparing for my recent Supreme Court argument in a tax case, I was reminded of the most deliciously bonkers Supreme Court argument I have ever attended. A 🧵 follows… 🍎

This is a great story.

And it so happens I have this apple right here...

Yup it’s confirmed, one of you is Taylor Swift’s #AppellateTwitter sockpuppet.

You thought we didn’t notice. But we did.

At this hearing, I stand before my fellow members of The Tortured Poets Department with a summary of my findings.
Album tonight.
Fortnight music video tomorrow at 8pm et.

taylor.lnk.to/thetorturedpoe…

Things Steve Vladeck and I have in common.

“Look, I’m just out here living my truth. And my truth is I won 9-0. I don’t care what the scoreboard says.”

The last refuge of the scoundrel is attaching your entire appellate brief as an 'exhibit' to your petition for discretionary Supreme Court review.

Yeah I think Daniel Charest pretty clearly came out on top here. Well done, Daniel.

Listen clients, I'm super happy to follow all your billing guidelines. Great, no problem.

The thing is there's not that many ways to break up the task 'write and revise this thing' into a bunch of different mini-tasks.

And that's like 80% of what I do.

Definitely no place in the world smells as good as Jimmy’s Italian Food Store smells right now.

Come at J.J., and you will have a herd of soft-bellied lawyers come at you with some pedantic debate so fast it will make your head spin and so intense you will squeal.

Claus von Bülow says “Hi.”

Overheard from my wife’s M&A CLE just now: “So like I try and make sure that the covenants are things that my client can, like, do.”

M&A isn’t real.

Hilarious, because a Harley is the classic Boomer participation trophy.

Just a “Junior Ranger Tough Guy” Merit Badge wrapped up in a terrible motorcycle acquired upon the achievement of scraping together $15,000 and buying logoed boots, t-shirts, and chaps.

Never would have thought a lowly pile of shoes would have me wondering about the too-swift passage of time.

I know I should know better, but I’m just baffled that any American, any Republican (!!!!!!!), would back Russia in this fight.

Well, I for one need to submit a request for more budget.

I mean this would be awesome!

Work for Justice Sarah Beth Landau!