To save money I have told my kids to turn off the tv while they are blinking

#CostOfLivingCrisis

The secondary school that my boy is applying for rang me today looking for proof of address.

I replied 'Lady, I assure you that nobody would lie about living in my Estate'

Oh dear God

Bono calls on the UK to 'lead' the world again rte.ie/entertainment/… via RTÉ

Remember everybody it's very important to #BeKind to everyone besides #JamesCorden cos today the Twitter Mob decided he doesn't deserve it

😂😂😂

The Food Safety Authority says that you don't have to post everything on Instagram

I reckon #jeffreydahmer would be creeped out by Leo's fridge

My fitbit just asked me if I was still alive

I think a sock full of tea should be the next English Prime Minister
#LizTrussPM

Is Paddington 2 the most calming and soothing film ever made? I think so

Happy #MenopauseDay Ladies. Have a good one

They say sorry is the hardest word but I think it's this dude's surname

I want to like Resident Alien but it's just not working for me

Son: Dad, since #Halloween is just around the corner, can you tell me a scary story?

Me: Because of FFG, you will probably never own a house

I often wonder if Dr Dre isn't actually a qualified GP, isn't only fair that his patients are notified 🤔🤔🤔

The Lough is better

Look at the state of these two pricks

To protect a woman's modesty I believe that she should only ever ride a bicycle in a side saddle fashion