I love my girlfriend and I hope to be together forever but she kind of fucked up my retirement plan (kill myself)

just found two notes i wrote to myself that pretty much sum up my relationship with positive self-talk:

first note: you can do this!
second note: ok but what do you mean by 'this'?

They were recently featured on Hannah Gadsby’s Netflix special 'Gender Agenda.' Don't miss Canadian Comedy Award winner DeAnne Smith when they tour across Canada later this year! 🎤

Tickets on sale now!
🔗: bit.ly/3INjsMh

This week, The Alarmist welcomes comedian DeAnne Smith to discuss the alluring life of Julius Caesar and his dramatic ascension to prominence, adoration and ultimately assassination. If someone tells you to beware the Ides of March, you best be bewared. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the…

but that's my emotional support online joke format

I haven't been on this platform in months and look what cool thing happened while I was away. The Interrobang put my 2023 album in this amazing company! Wow wow wow

We had DeAnne Smith on episode 1628 ‘Taylor Swift CIA Theory Climbing The Charts, NYPD PropaDancers’ - listen now! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the…

Jack O'Brien Hideo NoHo

THU 11/16: DeAnne Smith's DeAnarchy❤️‍🔥
Anything-goes comedy hosted by your favourite Gentleman Elf, DeAnne Smith! Come have the most fun you can possibly have with special guests cat✨ and Ash Diggs!

🎟️: tinyurl.com/2d5f3ucn

NEW ALBUM OUT TODAY AND IT'S SO CHEAP IT'S AN INSULT TO ALL OF US (but not as insulting as what I said to these nice people in Portland)

800poundgorillamedia.com/products/chiwe…

Canadian Comedy Award winner & festival favorite DeAnne Smith is performing THREE TIMES as part of The 42 at JFL Toronto this September 🙌 🙌 🙌
🎫 Use your festival pass credits to reserve a spot at one of DeAnne's shows before they're gone: toronto.hahaha.com/en/shows/deann…

Nothing to hear here. Just two comedians riffing about boobs.

Check out DeAnne Smith's episode while you're stuck in traffic. Happy #July4th .

Noon ET Saturday, 7am & 2pm Sunday, 12am Monday & 8pm Tuesday on #TheBilalVakaniHr with Bilal Vakani player.siriusxm.ca/live/CanadaTal… SiriusXM Canada

Canadian Comedian DeAnne Smith on their new stand-up album Chiweenie in a Tank Top out Friday, July 14!

Later: siriusxm.ca/BilalVakaniHour

Brooklyn! I'm doing another What's New? show on 7/9 at Union Hall! It will feature amazing guests DeAnne Smith, julia, and more! Plus it's at 5:30pm so you can enjoy a whole show before dinner! eventbrite.com/e/josh-gondelm…

'Good comedy exists on the margins. Queer people live in the margins. We have been forced to be outside the 'norm,' to take risks to love and to get creative about community and belonging.' - DeAnne Smith
shedoesthecity.com/deanne-smith-o…

With the help of special guest DeAnne Smith in their first ever game of #DnD the Star Academy crew try to save the Kingdom of Farawayica from the Eggomaniac, Trumpty Dumpty...

Catch the 2nd of our Melbourne International Comedy Festival shows for a cracking good time.

open.spotify.com/episode/6f21X9…

#comedy

Ooo! I had a chat with hilarious genius Alice Fraser and you can listen in!

#LA & #Livestream fam I got another banger for a ya TOMORROW Saturday 5/6 7pmPT:

Picture This! 🎨 🎭 is back to deliver the finest live animated comedy AND celebrate Amber Preston (she/her)'s birth!

Join me IRL or in the chat! Last day to save $5 on tix! eventbrite.com/e/picture-this…

#MICF 2023 show no. 5: it’s so great to have self-described weird little guy DeAnne Smith back at Melbourne International Comedy Festival with NIPLESS! I missed their irresistible energy and sick rack. Said sick rack is no longer, but DeAnne remains one of my favourite comedians 😍