Yes they are shit but even worse they are a green light for control freak breakfast babies to throw hissy fits when they can’t have the exact customisation mummy used to make. Hotels & B&Bs should ban them as one. I’m here to start the movement.

I am a guest on a podcast tomorrow and one question i have to answer is which charity is closest to my heart. I want to say HMRC but the host won’t let me.

Little post-shift drink

Just finished cooking this wine matching madness. If you want to see it go to insta, I was too stressed to take photos.

I think there comes to all hospitality workers an entirely involuntary point at which they can no longer mask their disdain for idiocy. For some it takes a lifetime, for others a week. I am scared I’ve recently passed it but working hard to push through.

People who don’t work in a particular sector are more likely to complain about it because they don’t grasp how it works. Conversely, people who are in that sector are likely to defend it because they grasp it very well. Or we can just assume that all businesses exist to stiff us

Quiet night in so we opened a jug wine

You can tell me this place saves historic buildings but it doesn’t, it homogenises them as characterless voids then wipes out quality, independence & variety from the high streets around them. It’s a horrible, selfish, one-trick business that hurts hospitality. Ps cheers!! 🥂

I am starting a petition to force awards determined by public vote to accurately reflect what’s being contested. So “best UK restaurant” becomes “best use of social media to garner votes by a UK restaurant that was willing to buy tickets to our event”. Less snappy, more accurate

There is only one place to truly taste what’s being produced on the island in season & that’s closed until October so I’ll forgive its omission.

That chicken was so stressful I forgot to pap it so here’s a tomato & some soup instead.

Really bloody nice & no shrinkage but might as well have done it the simpler way given you can’t see the spuds for butter

Finished with sage so it tastes like paxo

How to make boulangere more complicated

Built myself a tomato dryer

Someone told me I have too much New Zealand wine. In response I have listed four more.

This is a real shame. Can a famous baker who likes Hampshire pls buy this mill & put it back into production? James Martin

Gotta do what you gotta do 🤷🏻‍♂️ This is fascinating, will be interesting to see the fallout

I think it may have worked.

Busy hotel = sausage rolls become my life