My daughter, the comedienne:

Her: 'Knock, knock.'
Me: 'Who's there?'
Her: 'Toilet paper.'
Me: 'Toilet paper who?'
Her: 'Well...hello there, ladies!'

Followed by her laughing hysterically. (Followed by me laughing hysterically.)

Grow slow, little one.

I love Halloween. It’s the one time of the year when guests to our home don’t ask, “Isn’t it a little early/late for Halloween decorations?” 👻

Sometimes, I get to thinking I'm pretty funny.

Then, I hear my daughter hop up on her potty while singing, 'Let it Go' at full volume and I realize...I'm merely amusing.

Just posted a photo @ San Diego Convention Center instagram.com/p/CgXV30WJ4Eb/…

Check out this INCREDIBLY COOL #AkiraKonoe art by @PhilipposoleV2. Voicing Akira was a huge honor and art like this? It's icing on the cake!

I've been seeing these signs in people's front yards that have a silhouette of a dog relieving itself with the word 'No!' painted on the side.

Given so few dogs are literate, it seems to me these signs might be encouraging the very behavior they're looking to curb.

My 3-year-old is at this stage where she delights in finding beauty in the mundane. Steam rising from a coffee cup? 'Beautiful!' A dab of jam on a plate? 'Beautiful!!'

It's reminding me that I need to slow down, pay closer attention, and find myself some powerful hallucinogens.

You hear about that new Titanic VR game?

They say it's a truly immersive experience.

Emoji replies: the cute way of saying “I’m done with this conversation.”

👍😜

Normal people: “Man, cleaning up feels great. The house is spotless!”

Me: “The CSI team will never know what kind of slob I really was. The house is spotless!”

Don't you just hate it when you're flossing and you accidentally floss one of your beard hairs in between your teeth?

...no? Just me?

To celebrate National Daughters Day, I encourage you to check out this brilliantly conceived and deeply effecting short film from Aundre. Here’s to all the daughters out there and the fathers who’s worlds revolve around them. youtu.be/H8qFTgcRV6w

Snacking on some pickled ginger and my two-year old insists on trying some. She sample a sliver, spits it out, and demands I stop eating it. I don’t comply, and the more she sees me enjoying it, the angrier she gets.

She’s ready; I’m starting up her Twitter account tonight.

I've been firmly on the #FreeBritney train for a hot minute, but I think we can all agree that, 'I'm so angry it's insane' is...not the ideal way to describe her feelings on her predicament.

I'm working on my 'Tired Dad Simulator.'

Level 1 - 'You had insomnia last night.'
Level 2 - 'You had insomnia and your daughter got up before dawn.'
Level 3 - 'You had insomnia, daughter got up before dawn, and then wanted to read bedtime books designed to put you to sleep.'😴

Like lots of folks, I've spent part of the last year working on a new skill. I'm proud to say that with nearly 100% success, I'm able to remove stray hairs from my mouth without using my hands. #valuablelifeskills #beardlife

Hey Folks - this week's episode of Carcerem The Series features a song that I'm very proud to have had a hand in (lyrics by yours truly, music by the one-and-only Dave Volpe - who also scores the series) It's sung by the incomparable Sharon Muthu (*Official*)...who kills it! Check it out!

This morning I was changing my 2-year-old's diaper and as we were wrapping up (ha), I leaned down, kissed her on the forehead, and whispered, 'I love you.'

She looked back at me, with an unusual and deeply thoughtful expression, and replied, 'No.'

Cue existential crisis.

Some folks do mo-cap...others do p-cap...

Me? I do cap. Just...cap.

(Big thanks to the team SideLA for having me today and for being super on-point with their safety measures!)

So excited and honored to announce that I'm in this amazing game as the voice of Akira Konoe!! Big thanks and congratulations to Official ATLUS West & the team PCB Productions! #Persona5Strikers

Also - SungWon Cho plays my dad? How cool is that?!