Me, to 8-YO: “Hey, can you please stop criticizing your little sister?”

8-YO: “I am not criticizing her!! I am just giving her friendly tips about how she can do things much better.”

KSV All your replies

One month move countdown begins today. Holy moly.

Me: I just want a nice, simple window treatment that won't break the bank.

Window treatment people: Ok no problem! That'll be infinity dollars per window. Will you be paying by card or ACH?

We all knew this take was coming. No one ever, EVER, faults men for being prolific.

I am so unbelievably sick of people trying to tear her down. Move along, small ones.

Our 5-year-old is out here writing absolutely brutal birthday messages to her classmates

Texts from CVS, a timeline:

Day 1 - Good news! Your prescription is ready

Day 3 - Don’t forget to pick up your prescription! Only 3 more days before we will cancel your order

Day 5 - PICK UP YOUR PRESCRIPTION TOMORROW OR WE WILL SKIN YOUR FIRST BORN ALIVE. Type 1 to confirm!

In case you were wondering, the red wax that Babybel cheese is wrapped in does *not* come out of hair

Time for school

I am pretty sure my husband didn't have 'getting constantly grilled trivia style by our 8-year-old about which Taylor Swift song is on which of her albums' on the parenting bingo card.

Ok after one full listen, my top 5 in no particular order:

1. So Long, London
2. The Manuscript
3. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
4. I Look in People’s Windows
5. The Albatross

#TaylorSwift

Parenting PSA: If you’re moving anytime soon, probably best to skip the new Bluey episode.

Wooooboy do we have some feelings in the Vladeck residence tonight.