Max Schreck just having a wee breather chill out as Nosferatu in 1922

I can’t find it now either on here or by searching on the big wide web to give proper credit but there’s a tweet that is something like

‘[points at baby] hey, your potato just barked at me’

and every now and then I think about it and holler

patient just checked in for a nurse’s appt and then from across another surgery’s waiting room from someone who clearly knew her was just *yelled*

“IS THAT FOR STDs HEN???”
“AYE PAL, AV GOT HUNNERS AW ‘EM!!”

and I’m really going to miss Glasgow

shark just swallowed a British floater

don’t be ridiculous. it’s to make myself sick on jelly and ice cream

It’s a classic trap. Doing everything possible to get some sort of reaction or soundbite that can get twisted to discredit a protest against genocide. If you don’t get a reaction, cry and ‘feel threatened’ by the non-reaction. Thankfully these kids are smart and organised

did Nadine Dorries write this

my bf just walked in, gestured to my plate and said

- enjoy your Irish olives
- what?
- enjoy your Irish olives!
- …what??
- your potatoes!
- I have *never* heard them called that
- have you not?!
- no!
- huh. maybe because I just made it up

he’s like a permanent trap

this is genuinely embarrassing for a former prime minister, even one with such a ludicrously short tenure

*SKIPS OFF TO TELL THE BOSS IM HAVING A FEW DIET COKES WITH MY LUNCH